In Pursuit of Happiness

You are the source of your happiness. Be happy 🙂

“What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create”.

 – Buddha

Happiness, one of the most sought out thing in the world. But what is this happiness? And why is it that only a few have found this and not the rest? Is there a secret map? Well, the answer is – No there is no such secret map.

Happiness is a state of mind where the individual is content from within and not due to any external stimuli. People who are happy have understood that happiness derived from external sources tend to fade away sooner or later but it is the happiness from being content from within that is ever-lasting. Happiness only comes to those who appreciate what they have. A very good example to prove this statement already floats in the internet. Many of us would have seen kids in under-developed regions or slums smiling from ear-to-ear in spite of having very little material comforts and yet the upper strata of the society having much more than this aren’t. Being comfortable and being happy are not one and the same.

Even the brightest/ richest people today commit suicide!! Why??? First of all, there is no guarantee of a tomorrow. There’s no guarantee that we will wake up tomorrow. If you do, there you go, you have a reason to be happy. Simply be grateful for being alive and try making your day as productive as possible. Failure is a part of life and is the nature of this world to have dualities (success-failure, cold-hot, wet-dry etc). One thing we must understand- Without sorrow we won’t know what is Happiness. This doesn’t mean we sulk and sit down waiting for happiness to come to us. Being happy is not a compulsion, it is a choice. 

Another reason why people aren’t happy because they place their happiness on people and other material objects. Which means only as long as that person or object is with them, they are happy. Once they go, so does the happiness. This is pseudo-happiness. We do not need others to keep ourselves happy.

Happiness is a contagious energy which radiates positivity all around. No one would like to hang around with someone who is pessimistic in life. Oscar Wilde said

“A flower blossoms for its own joy”.

Be like a flower. Be happy for yourself because you deserve it. Don’t do for others but for yourself because you deserve to be happy.

The question that remains unanswered: How to be remain happy? Quite an easy answer.

You are an individual, an independent one. If you are dependent on others to keep you happy, wouldn’t that make you a slave to their behavioural needs and emotions? It is ridiculous to think that somebody else or something can make you happy or unhappy. So, don’t give your remote to others. Operate it yourself.

BG 5.23-24

“Before giving up this body, if one is able to tolerate the urges of the material senses and check the force of desire and anger, he is well situated and happy in this world”

“One whose happiness is within, who is active and rejoices every moment and whose aim is inward is actually the perfect mystic. He is liberated in the Supreme, and ultimately he attains the Supreme”.

Thus, the path of spirituality too becomes easier when one is happy. Unless one is able to relish happiness from within, you cannot retire from the external engagements meant for driving superficial happiness. A happy person can therefore sit silently at any place and enjoy the activities of life from within. Such a person no longer desires external material happiness.

Anger- The obliterator of the Self

Buddha said,

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burnt”.

Anger is an emotion we all experience almost every-day. It is a strong negative emotion that has the ability to ruin the state of mind. Anger makes one emotionally disturbed, intellectually confused, physically violent and spiritually lost. The overall effect of anger is deadly.

“Anger is an enemy with the face of a friend. Anger is like a very sharp sword. Anger destroys everything”.

Ramayana

So, when does one become angry? Or more importantly, one must ask themselves, why am I angry? Or why should I become angry. It is a question that has different answers as different people have different trigger points, temper and reason.

In Sanskrit, anger has many synonyms but in English, they mean the same. For example, some of the synonyms of anger are Cope(कोप), Krodh(क्रोध), Dwesh(द्वेष) etc however the cause of Cope, Krodh and Dwesh are not the same.  The cause of Cope is issue based. It is temporary. Cope has to be shown at times in the interest of work. It is necessary to survive in this world. Krodh on the other hand is person based. In other words it is grudge. This should not be there. If this exists, slowly this grows into Dwesh (literally translates to Dvi+visha which is double poison). And Dwesh kills you every single day. They say poison kills you once and for all but Dwesh exists till death. The feeling of Dwesh is a nasty one. The very presence of the other person physically and mentally causes you to breed hatred and resentment towards the other individual. It eats you from within and you lose your state of mind. The peace which you actually deserve is lost for the simple cause of breeding hatred, anger and all such negative thoughts in your head.

A very good example to illustrate what damage anger does to oneself can be learnt from the Ramayana. Manthara, the personal maid of Queen Kaikeyi was obsessed with Bharat occupying the throne. She hated the fact that the whole kingdom loved Rama more than Bharat. This hatred that she bore flared up when she came to know that Rama was going to be coronated as King of Ayodhya. No sooner did she hear this than she ran to Kaikeyi to give her the “bad” news. Kaikeyi was joyful upon hearing the news but then Manthara manipulated her into thinking that Rama would enslave her son and rule like a tyrant. The seed of hatred has been planted. Now the course of action. Years ago, Kaikeyi received two vows from her husband, King Dasharatha. She decided to use them – First ask for Bharat (her son) to be coronated as King and second- Banish Rama to vanvas (to live in the forest) for 14 years.

You might think what is the big deal? Now Rama was not only loved by his father and mother but was loved by all. The whole kingdom in fact had started making preparations for his coronation. No sooner did the news break out to the people they were at a loss of words. And what was the news- Dasharatha fell unconscious (because he couldn’t imagine surviving without his favourite son), Rama has given up the throne and will go to the forest for 14 years (to fulfil his duty to abide by the promise given by his father to his mother), Bharat will be King, Kaikeyi asked such boons and Manthara was the root cause. Just observe. One person bore a seed of hatred and see how catastrophic the results turned out. The events later on turned to be worse but the point is look how dangerous how anger is.

“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger”.

-Buddha

BG 2.63

“From anger, complete delusion arises, and from delusion bewilderment of memory. When the memory is bewildered, intelligence is lost and when intelligence is lost one falls down into the material pool”.

In conclusion, Anger is something we must avoid as much as possible. Unless and until is required to show it, it must be kept at bay. Anger can’t be avoided entirely because it is a part of our system but it can always be kept under control. As mentioned earlier, Cope must be used but never let it transform into Krodh and dwesh therein. Anger can truly disturb our state of mind. We may not be able to control our feelings but we surely have the power to control the shape of the mind. Its ok to feel angry at times but when it turns the state of mind into that of depression or resentment, beware!! You might have taken the wrong turn.

 

 

Clincher

The year has come to an end. Pretty much, everyone has had their share of ups and downs this year. A multitude of people would have already listed down “New Year Resolutions”. These include to improve physical and mental well being, improve finances, improve career, education, get over grudges and so on.

35% of participants who failed their New Year’s Resolutions admitted they had unrealistic goals, 33% of participants didn’t keep track of their progress and a further 23% forgot about it. About one in 10 respondents claimed they made too many resolutions.. There can be several reasons such as – Lost track of it, Lack of will power, too many distractions and incapable of handling them, “Ahh leave it, will try it from next year”. Just as one plans ahead of any journey, similarly in the journey of life also, every individual must chalk out his/her steps. If one consults their own experience, they will understand that it is better to lay out short term goals which lead to a long term one. Many a times, people aim at the target but forget to reconsider the path. An aimless arrow is the most dangerous one.

As the year ends, I thought of putting across a few thoughtful quotes which would surely lighten the hearts of knowledge within us and take a step closer to realizing one’s self.

“Be a good person, but don’t waste time to prove it”.

“You’re the driver of your own life, don’t let anyone steal your seat”.

“Never apologize to others for their misunderstanding of who you are”.

“Be the same person, privately and publicly”.

“If you want to fly, give up everything that weighs you down”.

“The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life becomes”.

“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living in the present”.

“Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys”.

“Never get too attached to anyone, because attachments is the root of expectations and expectations lead to suffering”.

“Overthinking is the biggest cause of unhappiness”.

“Greatness in man lies in simplicity. Seeking attention only leads to disappointment”.

“Man acts according to his intelligence”.

“Remain humble no matter what your status is”.

“Never make a decision when you are in extremes of moods. Always make decisions with a calm mind”.

“Righteousness is useless unless paired with foresight”.

“Half knowledge is dangerous”.

Hope these quotes from the ancient times bring upon the light of wisdom in our life to carry on even in life’s darkest times.

Wishing you all a Happy and a Prosperous New Year. May you all find the courage even in the darkest corners of your life 🙂